For decades gone past and decades thought to come, but not now. Why? An offense. Perhaps, but seemingly small. Something so small to throw it away for. And yet, to her family, the same thing she does because alienation is somehow comforting.
Olive branches abound, but without result, and I’m left wondering: why? Is there more to try? More to abandon? More to know? But silence doesn’t yield many answers in the bitter cold. Occasionally my mind searches for clues it can’t find. Give up, give up, give up, counsels the other side of me. So mostly I do.
But every now and again, like a perfect sunset, the voice whispers again to try. How many olive branches must I send? How many olive branches do I want to send? In me old feelings rage for revenge, but pointless they truly are. After all, bitterness is merely drinking the poison you meant for another and it damages only yourself.
So, for now, I have to let it go, let it sink to the bottom, let it disappear. I hope for a better future, rooted in the reality of possible permanent loss. Too bad. Too sudden. To the next time.
Have you lost a friend due to their choice and not yours? Do you have a voice inside encouraging you to reach out every now and again? Or have you let it sink to the bottom for good?
I didn’t know what to write for a blog post. And to be honest I haven’t known what to write, so I thought I’d practice expressing my feelings for events in my life. Not always sad, but today this came to mind. I actually sent this friend a Christmas card after having not reached out for several months. The parting was this year. She’s pretty stubborn, so I think it may be a long while. And it may be that this is the end, but to quote Kermit the Frog, “Life is made up of meetings and partings; that is the way of it.“
2 thoughts on “A Lost Friend”
Well written Jae. I’d suggest you’ve done exactly the correct thing, and now you can have no regrets if nothing comes of it. Sad thouigh.
Thanks. I just wish things could be different, but it is what it is.