WIP Wednesday Sep 25th

I don’t even know what’s happening with Row80. I’m in one of the phases of life where tons of stuff is happening and it’s crazy, maybe a little bit stressful, but hopefully I’m swinging back around to some normalcy. And I’ll go see what we’re doing with Row80 for next week (aka when it starts up again).

So no goals, just excerpts today.

WIPpet Wednesday

I know, you’ve all been dying to know what’s happening next in Clemmings. At least I pretend like you are. I imagine you all on the edges of your seats, biting fingernails. If this is not the case, please indulge me and pretend that it is. (Okay, so it’s probably not the case, but I’m still going for it). Today is 9-25-13. How about nine paragraphs in, 25 lines?

I stare at the school from across the road, arms folded. This is only a battle lost—a major battle, sure, but the war is far from over. Mercedes can think she’s won for the time being, but we’re not finished playing our game.

My watch clicks and beeps as I put it on. If she’s watching, she’ll know I’m here. I step through the gates and walk to the front doors. My watch beeps as I pass through the main entrance. One of Mercedes minions is waiting for me. She could be Mercedes’ cousin with her looks, though instead of blonde her hair is auburn. She wears large, sparkly flowers in her hair, always pink to match the pink ties that only the Lily Girls wear. The rest of us commoners stick to school-issued black.

“I didn’t think you’d show,” she says, sneering. She takes my arm, but I shake it free. I’ll be defiant to the bitter end. “This way.” She walks down the hall and I follow, dragging my feet.

We enter a room I’ve never been in before. Pink, fluffy couches and chairs are spread about with food replicating tables and video screens. There are stylized posters of lilies plastered on the wall, as well as pictures of the three girls in their best sultry poses. But one section of the wall is covered with pictures of Mercedes—her shrine. I can’t even think of the last photo I’ve seen of myself, unless you count the one that comes up after the door to the agency scans my retina.

Auburn-hair leads me to Charity who stands beside a vanity. The counter can barely be seen beneath an assortment of beauty products for hair, for nails, make up—anything a Lily Girl could need. Charity tuts at my appearance. “I suppose it’s better you came this way in the end,” she says. “I can use my full creativity. Have a seat.”

I scowl, but deposit my bag on a fluffy chair. I sit in Charity’s salon chair. She wraps a pink cutting cape around me and examines my hair. “Wow,” she mutters. “This is better cared for than I thought. One less thing to worry about.” She pulls out a titanium-cased bottle, blinking blue lights down a strip on the side and a spray nozzle on top. She messes with buttons on the bottom while Auburn-hair hands me a mask.

“Don’t breathe it in. It isn’t pleasant,” she says.

I place the mask against my face the instant I hear a hissing noise. Charity has her own mask and coats my hair with something from the titanium bottle. When she finishes, my hair hangs wet against my head. Auburn-hair retrieves the mask. Charity pulls out her tablet, messing with it and paying me no further attention. Auburn-hair turns me toward the mirror and puts my fingers in water. Of course, I’ve got to have lilies to match.

I feel a tingling on my head.

“Okay, we’re active.” Charity looks at me in the mirror. She presses a button on tablet and the tingling changes to a zap, like static shock.

I flinch. “I didn’t agree to—” But upon catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, no words follow. My hair is fully styled, but now in a short bob cut.

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome. What do you think Charity sprayed on Jade’s hair? And I’m curious, if any of you know, how would you categorize a story like this genre-wise? Is it light sci-fi? It’s set maybe 40 or 50 years in the future, so there’s cool tech. I may get more in the politics of the world as the story progresses, but for right now it takes place in this school. Any thoughts on that are much appreciated!


19 thoughts on “WIP Wednesday Sep 25th

    • This typically isn’t my genre either, which is why I’m like, “Sooooo, got a nice genre here. Have a guess at what it is. Go on… go on….” 😉

      And thanks! Someday Clemmings will have a genre and hopefully that day coincides with when its finished and ready to be queried.

  1. If only going to the hairdressers was as easy as that! I like all the little details throughout that pulled me into the world you’ve created. Not sure about categorisation as I don’t read enough sci-fi but light sci-fi sounds about right for something set 40-50 years in the future.

    • Seriously, categorizing this has been such a pain. But I’m glad light scifi sounds about right. I’m sure I’ll get things figured out as the time comes. Thanks!

  2. Personally I’d classify it as Sci-Fi. Even if it is only set 40-50 years in the future, there’s enough strange tech that I think it qualifies. Sort of like Bumped and Thumped – which have mii-net (or something… I forget how it’s spelled) which is basically computer/smart phones that are contacts.

    While whatever spray Charity used is cool, I would hate to be sitting in that chair. The entire vibe was creepy, and the other girls were so snotty. I would not want anything to do with them personally!

    • Thanks! Maybe I’ll call it light scifi. And yeah, poor Jade. She definitely doesn’t want to be there. We’re going to find out more about how controlling Mercedes is.

  3. I love that it’s in present tense. It feels like something big could happen at any moment. I’m curious to know what Charity sprayed on Jade’s hair (and whether Charity’s name was chosen for a reason), but I’m not going to venture a guess–Hair styling technology has advanced quite a bit in 40-50 years! 🙂

    • Oh yes. And I wanted Charity’s name to sound like she should be a good person, only she’s not. But I hadn’t noticed her “charitable” act tied in with her name until you pointed it out. LOL. My subconscious knew what was up I guess. 🙂

  4. Okay, this reminds me of the torture I had to endure as Matron of Honor for my niece’s wedding. Chair — messing with my hair — airbrushed make-up — *shudder* Make it stop!!! Make it stop!!!

    erk. Sorry, I’m not a stylish, make-up sort.

    ” I can’t even think of the last photo I’ve seen of myself, unless you count the one that comes up after the door to the agency scans my retina.” And I can totally relate to this! Well, not that I have a retina scan anywhere, but, well, you know.

  5. Ohhh, okay, I was totally expecting her to get tortured or something and the things happening on her head was set up for screaming and pain she was about to experience, up until the end when she looks in the mirror and sees the new hairdo.

    I’ve read a bit of sci-fi, and my question to you is, is the story inclusive of more futuristic society and technology like what you’ve just described? If so, then yes I’d classify it as young adult sci-fi.

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