I know you’ve been waiting—oh so patiently waiting for this moment. And since I couldn’t find a movie to review that moved me, I instead headed straight into the spam box to see what new tricks I could pull out. Was I disappointed? Certainly not. For those of you new-ish to the blog, feel free to check out Spammer posts 1 & 2 for further laughs—or just for re-run sakes. And away we gooooooooooo!
Up first we have the illustrious Beep.iamempowered.com who definitely has some strong opinions on considered worries and side-effects.
Thanks for dropping by Beep, but I definitely don’t believe you read any part of my blog. Your favorite spam appeared to be on my blog: the easiest thing to be aware of (somehow I hope that last part is true). But thanks for reminding me about starting up my campaign to get giraffes pajamas. What do you say, my hearties? Pajamas for giraffes now? We need a catchy phrase to chant though: Hey, hey, what do you say! How ’bout some jammies for giraffes today?
I’ll keep working on it.
Next, let me introduce you to Istanbul Temizlik Sirketi. He’s like Turkey’s equivalent of Indiana Jones. In fact, you may have seen him in such movies as Istanbul Temizlik Sirketi and the Last Turkish Delight. It didn’t get as much play in America due to poor marketing and Paramount is still suing Turkey for infringement rights.
But let’s see what Istanny (his nick, like Indy) has to say.
Coming to us live from the UK it’s Cocktail Dress in UK. (Wait, Alex, this isn’t you drunk-commenting at some Uni party is it?) Cocktail has magic powers. Don’t believe me? She can find out things before you do.
Speaking of sharks and whales, next up with have Surfing. No, not the sport. That’s his name, yo. Surfing alluded to a problem I was unaware of.
And what if we did suggest our comments literally. Dear Kate, I suggest that I extremely loved the Engrish posts a person supplied on your blog. Is going to be back continuously in order to check up on new Engrish.
Next up we have a spammer who, quite frankly, I’m surprised WordPress tagged as a spammer at all. I mean with a name like Twitter Followers Data certainly that comment is legit. It reminds me of this picture I saw on Facebook the other today. Totes legit!
Anyway, poor Twitter (the spammer, not the site) ended up in the spam box. Here’s what he had to say.
Sometimes I really struggle with comprehending the original intent of Engrish sentences, and this one really made my head hurt. But let’s give it a go, shall we? Maybe if I add some words in. We will be absolutely certain to save the item of discussion, plus we will get back to understanding the additional context of your handy details.
Boom! 10 points added to copy editing skills. Level up!
Another poor victim of the mean ol’ nasty WordPress spam stopper, we have with us today Buy Pinterest Followers. All Buy wanted to do was leave me a little compliment. And I do mean little.
For our last guest of the posting day we have Swiss Replica Watches UK. Swiss is an old buddy of mine that can hook you up with a Burmese Yacht for a sweet, sweet price. I know what you’re thinking. His name. Well, his parents wanted him to sell pajamas for giraffes, so using a little reverse psychology they named him Swiss Replica Watches UK, but as it turns out, the plan backfired and not only does he not sell PJs for the poor giraffes, he doesn’t even sell Swiss replica watches.
Hey, you’ve got to be free to make your own way in life, you know. Anyway, here’s what Swiss had to say.
BWAMP! BWAMP! BWAMP! They even paid me per bwamp. I got a penny every time someone watched the trailer, which you’d think would have made me rich, but I was living in France at the time and they took 75% and then because I’m an American citizen, Uncle Sam wanted his portion, too. Anyways, it all worked out to be about $13, so I went to Chick-Fil-A with a friend and had a lovely dinner. Can you say chocolate-peppermint milkshake? Mmm, I thought so.
I’m still trying to figure out vivid transparent. Is that like being able to see through a rainbow AND paint with all the colors of the wind? Be sure to leave a comment on what you think vivid transparency would be.
Well, I think we’ve all learned a very important lesson here today. And that is that giraffes need pajamas. Don’t be heartless! Giraffes are counting on you for a good night’s rest!
Have you strongly considered worrying about giraffes and pajamas? Do you paint with all the colors of the wind? Have any great spammer comments you’d like to share? Figured out vivid transparency yet?