Spammers Greatest Hits: Part Deux

Back by popular demand, it’s Spammers Greatest Hits: Part Deux. I think I’ll make this a monthly event, as long as my spammers promise to stay creative in the way they spam me. This time we’re going to add a few more spammer comments for your viewing pleasure. (See the original greatest hits here.)

SPAMMER ONE

Our first spammer guest for this greatest hits session is SportandFitnessVideos.com. You know, if you’re going to spam me, you could at least try pretending like you’re a real person. I mean, one of my favorite spammers Davis bothered to punch in a fake name. *sigh* Anyway, here’s what Sport has to say:

Attention! Lit and Scribbles, now with no need side-effects! Your favorite spam comment appeared to be at the net the simplest factor to be aware of. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I think what he meant to say was: “unquestionably believe that that you said.” So there you have it!

SPAMMER TWO

Next up is Tree Trimming. Not really sure why I’d be doing tree trimming in the throes of still-winter, but hey, I’ve never trimmed a tree. Wait! Does he mean Christmas tree trimming? I could do that year round!

Hey, if you’re a politician or solicitor of any kind, when you bother people during dinner, maybe you can try this script: “Hello there. I’m here to mention how I believe.” Say… is that a good snappy new logo for the blog?

SPAMMER THREE

Now we’ve gone from tree trimming to our next spamming guest, RollOffDumpster. Roll has revolutionized the spamming game!

I like that you can select between three/3/2/and 4 hours per day. Too bad you can’t select on the “hours.” Then you could say, {I have|I’ve} been {spamming|stalking you} {online|across the street} for more than {3|7} {hours|days|years}.

SPAMMER FOUR

For some reason the spamming theme this go around was dumpsters. o.O Anyways, here’s what Dumpster Guy has to say:

Don’t you hate it when your spammers spam you to complain about all the spam they’re getting. Or does he mean he’s preventing spam by spamming? Would that make him a spammer spamming spammers spammer?

SPAMMER FIVE

Next up we have HowtoTrade. His biggest concern is the prejudice the world holds for new net people.

They don’t always know how to use a net, you know. You might call them netting-impaired. So don’t be prejudiced people. Join the cause and support your local new netter!

SPAMMER SIX

Our next spammer started off his comment in an odd and creepy way. Here’s what Binary Option Strategies had to say:Remember, if anyone wants to clutch… Nevermind. I’m not going there.

SPAMMER SEVEN

He says his name is Dumpster Rental CT but I was hoping it was secretly my favorite spammer Davis. Thought I’d share this in lieu of last spammer round’s insult of having “brain dead” commenters. Check this out!

Congrats on being fastidious all. That means you’re “very attentive to and concerned about accuracy and detail.” Boo-ya! Brain dead no more!

SPAMMER EIGHT

Last, but not least is a spammer who actually bothered to enter a name—sort of. Please welcome the ever humble, Paul la Cool.

Okay, I’ve been swiveling in my desk chair back and forth all day, trying to make some sense of this one. Because it was previously a leisure account, now it looks complicated, so complicated it has gone to far, which brought from me something positive? What do you guys think? Gold stars for the best translations!

CONCLUSION

This time our spammers thought all of you folks were great and decided to go get out the big word guns.

What about you? Checking your spam box now? Come up with any prize comments. Have any better translations for some of the spam I received? I’m feeling fairly confident that if I ever spammed a country of whose language I was using Google translate to communicate, I would at least sound this good. Right? Anyways, let me know your thoughts, spam translations, or best spam you’ve ever received below.

And remember…