Spammers Greatest Hits: Part Deux

spam jae scribblesBack by popular demand, it’s Spammers Greatest Hits: Part Deux. I think I’ll make this a monthly event, as long as my spammers promise to stay creative in the way they spam me. This time we’re going to add a few more spammer comments for your viewing pleasure. (See the original greatest hits here.)


Our first spammer guest for this greatest hits session is You know, if you’re going to spam me, you could at least try pretending like you’re a real person. I mean, one of my favorite spammers Davis bothered to punch in a fake name. *sigh* Anyway, here’s what Sport has to say:

jae scribbles spam

Attention! Lit and Scribbles, now with no need side-effects! Your favorite spam comment appeared to be at the net the simplest factor to be aware of. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I think what he meant to say was: “unquestionably believe that that you said.” So there you have it!


Next up is Tree Trimming. Not really sure why I’d be doing tree trimming in the throes of still-winter, but hey, I’ve never trimmed a tree. Wait! Does he mean Christmas tree trimming? I could do that year round!

jae scribbles spamHey, if you’re a politician or solicitor of any kind, when you bother people during dinner, maybe you can try this script: “Hello there. I’m here to mention how I believe.” Say… is that a good snappy new logo for the blog?

scribbles mention


Now we’ve gone from tree trimming to our next spamming guest, RollOffDumpster. Roll has revolutionized the spamming game!

jae scribbles spam

I like that you can select between three/3/2/and 4 hours per day. Too bad you can’t select on the “hours.” Then you could say, {I have|I’ve} been {spamming|stalking you} {online|across the street} for more than {3|7} {hours|days|years}.


For some reason the spamming theme this go around was dumpsters. o.O Anyways, here’s what Dumpster Guy has to say:

Jae Scribbles SpamDon’t you hate it when your spammers spam you to complain about all the spam they’re getting. Or does he mean he’s preventing spam by spamming? Would that make him a spammer spamming spammers spammer?


Next up we have HowtoTrade. His biggest concern is the prejudice the world holds for new net people.

spam scribbles

They don’t always know how to use a net, you know. You might call them netting-impaired. So don’t be prejudiced people. Join the cause and support your local new netter!

new netter jae scribbles


Our next spammer started off his comment in an odd and creepy way. Here’s what Binary Option Strategies had to say:spam scribblesRemember, if anyone wants to clutch… Nevermind. I’m not going there.


He says his name isΒ Dumpster Rental CT but I was hoping it was secretly my favorite spammer Davis. Thought I’d share this in lieu of last spammer round’s insult of having “brain dead” commenters. Check this out!

spam scribbles

Congrats on being fastidious all. That means you’re “very attentive to and concerned about accuracy and detail.” Boo-ya! Brain dead no more!


Last, but not least is a spammer who actually bothered to enter a nameβ€”sort of. Please welcome the ever humble, Paul la Cool.

spam scribblesOkay, I’ve been swiveling in my desk chair back and forth all day, trying to make some sense of this one. Because it was previously a leisure account, now it looks complicated, so complicated it has gone to far, which brought from me something positive? What do you guys think? Gold stars for the best translations!


This time our spammers thought all of you folks were great and decided to go get out the big word guns.

What about you? Checking your spam box now? Come up with any prize comments. Have any better translations for some of the spam I received? I’m feeling fairly confident that if I ever spammed a country of whose language I was using Google translate to communicate, I would at least sound this good. Right? Anyways, let me know your thoughts, spam translations, or best spam you’ve ever received below.

And remember…


18 thoughts on “Spammers Greatest Hits: Part Deux

  1. Hilarious. I haven’t really read any of the spam stuff I get, but I think I’m going to start. Too bad it’s empty right now. I tend to get a lot of the ‘your posts are great, but we’re sure people think they suck’ types of posts. Also, a lot of offers for a cheap rolex.

    • I haven’t received any cheap rolex offers yet, but you never know. These posts were originally inspired by going to delete the spam and happening to glance at a couple that were pretty hilarious. I think the “plagorized” one is still my favorite (previous spam post). πŸ™‚

      • I think I accidentally set off the rolex one because it was 99 of them within 5 minutes. I didn’t even know rolex was still a big thing. It sounds so 80’s. The spam messages are definitely funny though.

  2. Am I the only one who only gets spam from people named Big-Willy?! So far, the closest you came was from Binary Option Strategies…you know, the one who wanted to clutch your rss. LOL By the way, I wanted to “mention how I believe” that you have a very nice rss!!! Haha. Yes, I went there. πŸ™‚ Funny stuff!

  3. Yay, I shall wish in favour of blogging all the time! Hahaha… Laughing throughout that post – spammers are soo ridiculous!
    As for a ‘translation’, I’m just gonna suggest a rearrange of the sentence: “Looking agreeable brought you too far from complicated.” πŸ˜›
    Also, I now have a strong urge to check my own spam folder. *wanders off to stats*

  4. I do enjoy reading the spam comments I get. I like how they are never specific enough to mention ANYTHING about the post. I clear mine out so nothing more specific. Great post.

    • Thanks, glad you liked it! Yeah, I especially love the ones who list the post they were commenting on, but like you said, nothing more specific than that. Your post (insert name here) was so inspiring to me I must learn more. You really got the topic covered. Etc. Etc. Etc. πŸ˜›

  5. Thanks for the reminder to check my Spam folder. I had 36 messages in two days. Crazy how fast they’re working at trying to sell their wares to us. You know the funny thing I like reading? Broken English. I’m not going to give examples but it’s hilarious going through the messages to find how mangled a language they managed to make (my attempt to break English). Thank goodness for the Spam folder!

    • It is too hilarious. I imagine that’s how I’d sound were I a spammer in another language. Lol. WordPress does a good job with the spam, and no annoying “prove you’re human” junk either. Thanks for stopping by!

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