Happy Valentine’s Day! Are you living it up in candy land? Bought up every rose in town for your sweetheart, or cooking up a special meal for your man? Did you wear red or pink? Did you even go so far as to wear hearts?
Or is this more your type of Valentine’s sign?
The other day I was down at the cafeteria picking up lunch, when hottie from next door walks in. He’s got a salmon-colored shirt, with his fancy tie and suit pants, and just a little bit of scruff on his chin. The girls at the counter, who are about 19 years old or so, take his order and comment on his pink shirt. It starts out as a cute comment, just her saying she liked that he wears pink.
One of the girls says, “Hey! You could wear that shirt for Valentine’s Day!” Hottie, trying to be nice, just smiles and says, “Yeah, I may have to.” But I can see he just wants to get his lunch and go back to work.
Then the other girl, who coincidentally enough was wearing black that day, straightens up, her opinion on Valentine’s Day ready to burst right out of her.
There’s nothing uglier on a girl than bitterness. Hottie didn’t know what to say. What do you say to rain cloud types that won’t get you struck by lightning?
It’s not that I don’t understand where she’s coming from when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I used to feel the same way. I’ve never received the dozen roses, the chocolate—the anything—on Valentine’s Day. Still haven’t. It’s possible that I might never, but that’s not the point.
RAIN CLOUD GIRL
The BFF and I used to have a roommate that almost put us off roommates forever. (We just didn’t realize there were even crazier things to come). I’m going to call her Rain Cloud Girl—RCG from here on out.
RCG is really sad, because she thinks the world treated her wrong somehow and she’s got to let you know about it—every minute of every day. Even if you have something really great happen, like you got that dream job or a new boyfriend or just had a fantastic day—the last person you want to tell is RCG. She might remind of Downer Debbie. In fact, we wonder if the SNL writers secretly came out to our house for inspiration.
I don’t think RCG lived with us during a Valentine’s Day. I can only imagine what might have tumbled out of her mouth if she did. If there’s one thing RCG inspired me to do, it was to shove those dark rain clouds out of my life and get happy.
Here’s the thing. If I had the boyfriend of my dreams and he got me roses on Valentine’s Day I’d be ecstatic. I’d be telling everyone how awesome he was and how happy it made me—everyone except the rain cloud types, because I know they’d just kill the mood.
I don’t want to be rain cloud girl.
So I’ve decided to let people have their fun, get excited for the girls who have boyfriends of their dreams, and I even go so far as to wear red on that day to show my support for those who do enjoy the holiday.
Plus I got myself a nice present of framed art which should be ready either today or tomorrow. In fact, that was sort of Hottie’s response.
And he’s right. Why not find our own positive way to celebrate? We choose whether or not we’re going to be happy, no matter what situation we’re in. We choose.
What’s the point of all this? Valentine’s Day tends to pull out the worst in some people because of one simple thing: envy. So and so doesn’t have the roses, or the chocolates, and since misery loves company then nobody else can be happy on V-Day either.
But this goes beyond Valentine’s Day for some folks. We’ve all seen the people who can’t be happy for anyone’s success as long as they haven’t got it themselves. Maybe you’re the only single person left in your group of friends. Or maybe you’re the only one without kids in your group. Or maybe your friend is published and you’re not. Whatever it is, envy is ugly, whether you’re a guy wearing it or a girl.
I know, some people may flaunt whatever they’ve got that we’re lacking in our faces. But that doesn’t give us the right to be a resentful jerk back. There’s a certain quote (they say by Nelson Mandela) I always remind myself of to chase the rain clouds away:
Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.
Being bitter on V-day does more damage to oneself than it does to anyone else. And if this is truly the holiday of love, shouldn’t we at least be loving ourselves?
There will always be haves and have-nots, whether with money, with love, with family—whatever it is. But the only way to live a good life is to chase those rain clouds away and choose happiness.
So choose happiness, my friends. And Happy Valentine’s Day!